Yo, marriage is hard.

So that phrase is contrite, and annoying. I know it but tough luck because it is true. Marriage brings out the worst in people. The best is often brought out in dating, then people get comfy and the awful in people comes rip roaring out. It blows, beyond so. Sometimes both parties are guilty, sometimes one person holds that bag more often than the other.

No marriage is perfect. There are fleeting moments when you take a look around and think, "Wow, this fucking rocks! *This* is what marriage should be like all the time!". Except the problem with that little fantasy is no one can live up to it 24/7. People screw up, sometimes in epic ways, sometimes in ways that only seem epic at the time.

DH and I had/have our problems. There will always be issues of some sort. Days or weeks pass by with nothing, but eventually something will creep back up. That is how life is and there is nothing wrong with that. Last summer, though from the outside looked great, sucked to massive proportions. I won't go into detail about what happened here, because in all honesty 99% of the time it is resolved in my brain. What kept me from walking out the door and saying a big F you, was when I looked back and removed the current shit-storm from the equation I was happy a good 80% of the time. More often than not I was happy. I knew that in the remaining 20% of the time easily 50/50 of it being my fault (everyone picks fights for things they feel passionately about to later realize that it was a battle that shouldn't have been picked).

I'm speaking in general terms here, and not referencing my own marriage now: What I think is interesting that unless you are part of the marriage you *never* know what is actually going on. It is easy to judge from the outside and think that X is the problem in that marriage. It is easy to point fingers, because in your brain you have it all figured out, because you are brilliant like that right? No, you are actually being kind of douchy. You will never know what it is like to be in that marriage. To know what the other person goes through or puts up with. You don't know if that personal is anal retentive and wants, *needs*, something done a certain way. You didn't have to retrain your whole way of thinking to stay with someone. You don't know, if this person you so dearly love, isn't a massive asshole/bitch or controlling, or even abusive.

People blindly pick sides, and don't care about who they hurt in the process. It is easy to think you know everything, because you heard all the rumors, or you saw that facebook status, but rather you only see what people want you to see. In the demise of a marriage it becomes of a public relations nightmare. The once married couple or just confused couple all of a sudden has to justify themselves to people who have no business being entertained by the sadness that goes with a separation. When the sides form everyone has a trash fest to make one person look like the doer of all evil even though the sides have no idea of what actually happened.

So hows about everyone takes a stepback and leave those who are dealing with their family issues alone and not add to the drama. Hows about you the person not involved not post on facebook how you think someone is a whore/game addict/freak of nature/fake.